My baby is blowing away like gold dust

The doctors told her she had the bones of an 80 year old woman. Her beauty might crumble to the ground like a house all chewed up by termites.

She used to eat leaves and nuts and bamboo shoots and chew gum for the calories but now they had to force the food in her veins. She didn't know how to eat a cheeseburger cause she'd whipped her stomach to stop it from begging. She took laxatives to hurry the food through before her body had a chance to steal any of the nutrients. She was my girl. None of us knew how to stop her. She was dead set on beauty and her bones were disintegrating.

I could always tell they were soft. A lot of people think gold is hard, but when you touch the real thing you can bend it like clay. I'd grab her wrist and it would bow slightly. Sometimes we'd be making it and I thought I might just snap her all to pieces. It was almost macabre. The skin, the muscle clung to her bones like a wet t-shirt. All the tissue was being blown right off her frame.

It seems imaginary. It seems like vanity, and maybe it starts there, but it becomes something else. You feel sorry for kids in Africa with no food, but it's harder to sympathize with some pretty rich bitch whose only problem is that she won't eat a hoagie. All her friends were obsessed with their weight, counting the numbers, watching the scale like stockbrokers watching the ticker. Maybe most women are. Maybe I'd just never been around women before. It was kind of amazing, the way they'd support and deceive each other, reporting that one of them had gotten high and ate a whole pint of ice cream. I didn't understand it, but my girl had a real problem. It was not a choice to her.

Now, would I have loved her if she weighed 300 lbs.? Probably not. 120? Sure. Skinny girls can look pretty fucking good, but I've been with skinny girls, real thoroughbreds, and they look a lot better than they feel. It is slightly awesome to touch a firm, beautifully toned ass, but when you can pick up a girl and throw her on the bed, I don't know, it's too easy. I want a girl I've got to fight a little. I don't want to touch a girl whose spine pokes through her back like a fucking stegosaurus.

People are attracted to strength, to rarity. It's easy to eat cheeseburgers and not exercise and that's why nobody wants to fuck those people. It's harder for a girl to be thin, and it's damn near impossible for a girl to be thin and have the fat blubber up in her tits and ass. That's why those chicks are desirable. It's Darwin. It's science. Lydia was becoming too rare. When animals get too rare, they go extinct.