A Short Play About Los Angeles

Two middle aged men waiting for their plane to board. A, in baseball cap, hoodie, cargo pants. B, larger, orange and white hair, goatee, lazy eye, all dressed in black.

B:
It introduces jealousy, it introduces sympathy, trust...

A:
Mmm.

B:
They're perfect for-- They're a perfect match, but--

A:
But they--

B:
They need to have this test. They need to see what--

A:
It's like all of those people you date--

B:
Exactly.

A:
You need to go through them, to prepare you. So you'll know.

B:
Yes. The audience knows they belong together. We see that.

A:
In the beginning.

B:
Right, but still--

A:
We still have to--

B:
The journey.

A:
Plus it's a test.

B:
It's a big fucking test.

A:
Cause what if, what if, they meet someone...

B:
And that's--

A:
What if they meet someone they can't resist. Could meet all kinda people.

B:
And that's where all these issues of, fidelity, uhh, you know--

A:
Right right right.

B:
Right. Sex. Lotta dimensions. Lotta "Ifs".

A:
They see what it's like, "It's a Wonderful Life" kinda thing.

B:
But modern. And that's how we can pitch it.

A:
I thought--

B:
Well, yes.

A:
I thought you had the meeting already.

B:
We did.

A:
Yeah?

B:
I mean, you know how these things are.

A:
They passed?

B:
No no no. Not-- They're very interested. They said-- Marty, he's a friend, but he's, he can be, shortsighted. I mean, that's his job, guys like him.

A:
Yeah.

B:
They see concepts and concepts and concepts and hear pitch pitch pitch...

A:
Sure.

B:
If it doesn't--

A:
If it doesn't--

B:
Exactly. Right off if it doesn't-- DING DING DING. They're gatekeepers. If they don't see dollar signs, if Brad's not attached, if you don't have a goddamn name--

A:
That's the business.

B:
And I know that. If you don't go in there with the whole goddamn--

A:
You gotta have the poster, you gotta have stars, you gotta--

B:
And we did that. Poster, tagline, notecarded the scenes, picked out the fucking caterers for chrissakes... I don't know. It's just so, to take something abstract and make it bankable, make it real to these people...

A:
It ain't that hard, John. Will Smith. That's all you need. That's what makes it real. Cruise....Well, maybe not Cruise.

B:
We've got Tucci.

A:
Tucci is not a name.

B:
Well...For a certain, you know, Big Night...Tucci is not nobody. He's not nobody. Tucci is very interested. He's on board. Julia and Julia, he's not nobody. Audiences are very familiar with him.

A:
Well, John, it's not like he's--

B:
Of course.

A:
It could be sexy is all I'm saying.

B:
And, okay, if this was Titanic, sure, but we're thinking a date night-babysitter kind of thing.

A:
And Tucci means something to those people.

B:
Yes.

A:
In all fairness, though, it is very conceptual.

B:
Well, sure--

A:
Which is good. High concept, easy to market.

B:
Listen, I just wanna tell a goddamn story.

A:
And you can do that, all I'm saying is you might want to consider thinking about a younger, as much as I hate the word, demographic. You've got this great idea. It'd be great-- put a couple of people you wanna fuck in there. Not Stanley fucking Tucci.

B:
Hey, if I could get fucking, you know, Jake Gyllenhaal, shit, if I could get The Jonas Brothers, I'd be a pig in shit. It's not about that.

A:
Naturally.

B:
And it could go either way. The script is not age specific. It could be anybody. Could be a Notebook thing. Could last eighty fucking years.

A:
Now that is interesting. The whole spectrum.

B:
Yes.

A:
Tucci, or whoever, could be the guy when he's old.

B:
Get a young guy to play him when--

A:
Right. Old, young.

B:
This is good. This is a very good way to go.

A:
It could be eighty years they're apart.

B:
The longer the better. Undying love kind of thing.

A:
Then they finally wind up together, and they both croak.

B:
One of them dies, then the other.

A:
They can't live without each other.

B:
Yes. Yes Yes. But they get to spend the last few years together.

A:
Right. Then they go to Heaven or wherever together. Eternity.

B:
Fuck yes. I think I've cracked it. This is a whole new approach. This is gonna crack the whole thing open.

A:
Hey, we cracked it together.

B:
You certainly helped me talk it out.

A:
Glad I could help.

B:
I'm excited to get on the plane to work on it.