Medical Miracle Mile

I do not enjoy ambition.
I am learning to embrace my lack of ambition.
I have ambitions,
I just don’t want to work for them.
That would be too obvious.
Then they’d know I want them.
My ambition is to turn it all into a joke.
It’s all a joke anyway.
My conceptual art projects
remain purer if they stay conceptual.
That’s why I’m in the word business.
Words are almost purely conceptual.
At best, they’re vibrating air.
This is as close to being
a cloud as I can be.
The page is a crime scene
laced with black blood.
This sentence is as violent as I get.
I don’t want to know how to do anything
but nothing
and that’s perfectly alright with me.
I’ve come to terms with that.
How could somebody allow themself to write
a career of awful books while I maintain my perfect record
of unbegun masterpieces? Not even unwritten.
I won’t even begin to imagine them.
The idea of them is more than satisfying.
I dwell in possibility
and I’ll stay there.
I never want to know
who or how I’ll actually turn out to be.
The glorious, unending fruition of procrastination.
I have never been quite so dedicated or effective at anything
as I am at self-subterfuge and diversion.
I am most accomplished at delay and self-sabotage.
Look at all these words I’ve made out of it.
I take my money and finance my nothing habit with it.
After half-heartedly trying for a quarter of a century
I am owed my chance at uselessness.
My concept is to turn this evasion into an intent.
If I intend to be this lazy, well, I’m getting things done now, aren’t I?
What did I do in my 20s? Procrastinate them until my 30s.
I celebrate nothing, and actually nothing,
not the little nothings we are left with
after the dismantling if the big somethings
and so blow up
into new everything.
It’s almost impossible to get away with doing nothing these days.
Nothing is quite a thing to accomplish with your life these days.
The current of productivity is overpowering.
I’d like more money
I just can’t convince myself I like doing what I have to do to get it.
There’s nothing I want to buy but time
and I already get that for free.
Basically anything we try to do
is a kind of violence.