21 April 2014

ASTRONOMIA: A Failed Lullaby

A NOTE ON THE STYLE
It seems important that this is written in a kind of pseudo-verse.

It’s poetry for poetry’s sake, quite possibly the most egregious thing one can write, but in an age where nobody else seems to be doing anything for poetry’s sake, I think it’s okay for poetry to start working for it’s own behalf.

The action should be played like community theatre Shakespeare, Huge swings at the big emotions and themes, teenage breathing and desperately crinkled brows. Arch pronunciations, unnecessary British accents and o’er-brimming hearts may be employed as you see fit. The syllables should be huffed and puffed at full-sail, packed with emotion.

Above all the language should be enjoyed. Whether chewed, savored, spat or relished, the syllables should all be morsels of a dish

Costume should be whatever style is contemporaneous to the date of production, mixed with that of antiquity, a la a director’s attempt to reimagine or “update” Shakespeare. For instance, if a production had been done in the 80s it may have been costumed in a Madonna meets Malvolio style. One done circa the date of writing might be dressed Hipster-bethan (Hipster-Elizabethan). If possible, the costumes should be cheap and ill-fitting, purchased from thrift stores or whatever shops offer pale knock-offs of the current trends. Bedsheet togas pulled back with tacky brooches might hit the spot.

It takes place on a modern rooftop, but it really takes place anywhere there’s a wide-open space and a confusion of stars.

Two Lovers. Young. In each other’s arms.



SHE

Tell me a story.



HE

     About what?



SHE

Read it from the stars. Cable new constellations

From these dead bulbs of expired season.



HE

I know not the speculations of the ancients

Nor own facility for new invention.



SHE

Sing seedling legends flourishing

From murky garden night,

And equal joy will I disperse

To pay the tale’s delight.



HE

Like crystals in snow’s newborn visage,

There was twinkling, baby light

peeping from newborn eyes

upon a world well-known through

past incarnations. The pointed light froze,

Growth stunted by some early trauma,

breaking back upon its young path.

Forth and aft it heaved, as if to dislodge.



He tries to kiss.

She moves.

He tries to kiss.

She moves.

He tries to kiss.

She moves.



SHE

No no no, remix the sky,

Tell the glowing garment legends,

Conjure the Galactically-striding Gods

Implicit in the weighed arrangements

Of starfire.



HE

                        They’ve gone dim.

None rise. The universe-sized myths

Lie dark, unkindled by stars both dust

And cremation. These eyes are filled

With the milky gauze of glaucoma.



SHE

                           Attempt. Do not let

Them lie as they are, hearts without thump,

flatlined, comatose, wheeling on the

gurney of night. Revive the soul its

phantom celestial embryonics.

Awake the night’s thousand eyes

And start them blinking in wonder.

The stars retain their antique shape.

Zeus’ spine still holds it’s proud posture,

It’s the Cinerama behind the eyes

That’s been reformatted.



HE

I subscribe to cheap reality,

Unable to address the cosmos,

Able to address the girl downstairs.



He tries to kiss.

She moves.



HE
These tales you know dim inkling of,

All were independent spun of many

Estranged tribes, heirloom superstition

Crutching where science was unable to furnish.

Now these same fictive arrangements, lying within

Astronaut’s toe and satellite’s eye,

to mine, die amicably, the quizzic lies

supplanted by friendly knowledge,

which offers more localized wonder.



SHE

This comet-fire gliding through

My synapse is no mere chemical,

I assure, nor the night a simple periodic table;

This blood riding through my veins

Like a school of back-turning dolphins,

Is driven by the tides of what you call

Speculation, mine own hypotheses

Climbing to scaffold the airy absence

I find in you, your base of infinite disintegration,

Shifting as the wild desert floor of an hourglass’ Vortex,

this quagmire not looked on as desolate canyon,

But as space for mine own sweet milk to pour

And so fill a halcyon lake.

Please, tell me a story. Trick me into belief.



HE

(Making excuses)

A boy puts his hand in the clarity

Of a stream and comes up with salamanders.

Forgive, I know my own mind, which

Becomes most apparent through reasons.



SHE

I feel my stomach turn with the cold, blue ache

Of ancestral heat. Put your hand to your heart:

That is a star’s pulsation in your chest.



She takes his hand and puts it over his heart.

He draws it away and feels his wrist.



HE

I can’t find it. I feel nothing.



Pause.



HE

       See those there?

Appearing to be the hung lamps

of a Chinese wharf? Those are the

3 television sets of the equinox,

burning all night with peaceable

offering of Sham-Wow and Doo-wop.

A trembling effigy ignited by wayward comet,

wicker planets composed in triplicate,

where Andromeda stops to window-shop.



SHE

                                    How caged your sky!

I see not low blue torches crisping

Crème-brulee moons. I see the golden threads

Of a magnanimous queens bountiful scalp!

What raging torch’s hellfire these sparks seed!

Guiding our way to bed across

a long galaxy’s journey…



HE

May they be the repositories of souls.

May the evacuated spirit venture to the rim

Of the bubbling universe, embedding finally

In a permanent memorial of starfire,

Outpost graves of dim remembrance,

The night a churchyard, all my generations

Within one eye’s panorama.

Help me to populate future

Legends for our descendents.

As we are made of the stuff of stars,

so too may the stars be stuffed with us.

My blood is heat on parade.

Kiss me.



SHE

                      Will we die together?



HE

Let’s die now.



SHE

Wait.



                                    Not yet.



Pause.



HE
As the rearing of a fish from a pond

Longingly seeded with coin, so floats a story,

Flesh newly birthed, to kiss his food at the edge

Of our ample celestial lagoon.



He leans in to kiss her.

She moves away.



HE

This is no connect-the-dots!

This is full-bodied spectre!



SHE (Singing tauntingly)

Connect-the dots

La-la-la-la

Connect-the dots

La-la-la-la



HE

A true vision appears, a thing of my own mind,

Phantom blockade, transparent doll

of Newfangled God-Hero.



SHE                

                                        What shows this blockade?

Or is it a tale cobbled in haste solely to lull a child to bed,

Of no pleasure or matter to the teller himself?

A bribe? A mirage drying on the approach?

A counterfeit document hoping to gain passage.

Passage to my passage, mine own

well-lubricated wormhole?



HE

                                      Hear a legend of my own making,

Relevant to the situation of our day, and most ripe

This night, shared between us:

      See the cartoon dog,

Sized like a borealis, birthmarking the night,

Bloodlusting after groundhog of fur and flesh.



SHE

Hardly lustful, it chases as one dribble another.



HE

It turns at heaven’s pace,

The hog never caught always fleeing,

The dog never catching always chasing.



SHE

Hark, above, a cat, yawning at the futility.



HE

Hark, all your Gods are cats.



SHE

Hark, All your cats are dogs.

I’m Egyptian. I worship suns.



HE
How fertile these incumbent flames!

New, new, new! I did wish the story told already.



SHE

Only in the telling of two stories, or four, or more,

At one star, keeping them imperative,

Will the gated eyeballs soon revolve

To stare their twin eclipse’s liminal illuminations

Into the misinformed darkness of your horizons.



HE

When sunning on a hillside,

Beneath a day light sky,

I can cull as many creatures of a cloud

As whittler an irascible menagerie

Of the whole North Woods.



SHE

If calling the soft downy piles

“vapor-scooped sundaes” be culling,

“Bales of mothballs in a mother’s basket,”

“Pillows brusquely unstitched by houndsmouth,”

then thou art the best molder of flesh

since God’s own hand. It would serve you

to pound your own flesh, unlikely as you are

to touch it otherwise.



HE

In the young days, before to exercise

The imagination was made chore,

visions did enter the mind

like the sun-imagined day a house,

pouring unbidden through every window.

A picked-up stick instantly morph’d

Into wizard’s staff, requiring no trick,

As if touched of a Midas of “If”.

Now vision must be worked out

Like a solitary fornication.



SHE
And how the fields are a-drought!

God beds not acloud.



HE

God sleeps in the subatomic,

The omnipresent catalogue of unrest.

Everyone suspects this. I went many years

To school to refine my belief of it,

To stamp out youthful fabrication.



SHE

                                          Suit yourself.



Pause.

He looks up at the sky.



HE

It’s a carousel if you want it to be. Look.

I want to grant you an enchantment.

I want to animate the slow-dashing light.

Look: a pony, a sleigh, a procession of elephants.



SHE

They have deserted each other

on the way to the circus train,

And so are lost, holding their own tails.



HE

No, they balance trunk-wise beneath

The black Big-Top night, pocked with spotlights.



SHE

I begin to see a family afloat, juggled each to each

On the steady pendulous trapeze of midnight orbit.

I begin to see the flaming comet shot out of a cannon.

I begin to see asteroids spilling from destroyed rock

The same as a brotherhood of clowns spit from a car.

This revision of Heaven is long awaited.



HE

Yet my own belief fails at the threshold.

The stories are jests, untenable.



SHE

You exist to disprove.



HE

                                       I exist to prove otherwise.



SHE

The magic is not in proving either way,

The magic is in making it up.



HE

There’s magic in knowing.



SHE

There’s magic more in making it up.

You and your armies of the known,

Invading the last unspeculated inches

Of the dark universe. The sky is a blanket

We pull over our heads to tell stories

By the moon’s skeletal flashlight.



HE

The night is the day scalped,

Bald of protective illusion.

I’m a denizen of the boneyard earth.



SHE

You are heavy as a Devil’s throne.



HE

You have the right to private speculations.



SHE

I’ve filled a book with them.



HE

                                                You have?



SHE

An omnibus of spurred fabrications.

You’ll never read it.



HE

One story.



SHE

                    Maybe another night.

           

HE

                                                            Please.

SHE

My lids gum, sticking with sleep’s mesmerizing sealant.



HE

A synopsis?



SHE

Imagine the multitudinous times of day,

Offered by every star, every galaxy,

and every planet’s infinite angles

on respective daybreaks.

Now, paint this Technicolor profusion

Into one patchwork atmosphere:

One planet, capped by a panoptican sherbet of skies,

Every multi-leveled horizon bent back,

Studying it’s own light. This is my book:

A composite sky, swirled with every minute

Of every sun, every page imagined

By differing weather, filtered with every chemic,

A disoriented, incoherent vertigo lunging

Between moments, a spectral collusion

Of every conceivable vantage of broadcasted air.



HE

I am fundamentally baffled.

I prefer an atmosphere draped in black,

Blind of a shroud, all its thousand eyes

Clasped in permanent wink.

The stars, why have them anymore?

They’re estranged, too far away.

The night wants to be dark,

Let it fall totally.

Zap them out.  Let them choke on their

Own light. Be they black holes.

They tell no stories.



She gets up and walks to the edge of the roof.



SHE

The Wilde Beestes of Heaven are running

Silently through our sleep.



HE

When the snow fell, I thought it was

God’s dandruff, the stars parachuting down,

A billion stars invasion.



SHE

The Wilde Beestes of Heaven pound

The dusted plains Of midnight eyelids.



HE

I know better now.

Snow is simply a conference of water

gone cold in its slow collision.

I am a very intelligent man.



SHE

Listen…

Do you hear them?

The Wilde Beestes of Heaven?



ORION, the constellation, falls to the stage. He is outlined in light, with bright stars aligned on his body as they are on the constellation, his belt shining. He is broken and carved and without certain limbs, like an ancient statue.



He jumps to a ready position, like an injured hawk or ape torn from its natural environment. He freezes, and looks into a vague distance, listening like a burglar who has heard a noise through the wall. It is clear that he is blind.



The stars of his belt begin to flicker and fade. It is as if a power surge is going through him. For a brief moment he becomes blindingly bright, causing the whole stage to swell into daytime. Orion falls.



BLACK OUT.

17 April 2014

The Miracle

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These were the miracles.

          The young never

understand

                        that miracles

                                                   come through pain

a baptism

         in broken glass

Here I reside

a lone heart's finality

                                          covered in a batch

of old wounds

                              a thousand puckering mouths

aged shut

                    pursed in scar

                                                the raw,

unprovoked confessions

                                                 of the women

of vengeful lipstick.



The women tried to explain

                                                    

                                                That they were not

The miracle.

            I did not listen.

        I went on

undeterred, mad

       to convince myself.

Yes, Yes, they were

The miracle.

The only one I knew.

I'd felt it once

         or twice,

 firsthand

and spent my life

                                      trying to reclaim

the moment.



                         Women are the Muse.

Any of them.

                          All of them.

                                              And the Muse is

The one thing worth

                                         Dying for.

3 Blonde Boys

      “Mommy’s leaving now,” she said. “You won’t ever see her again.”
      The Volkswagen was idling, her three blonde boys in the backseat, each representing a different strain from her multicolored mane, Bret the stony bronze, Dennis a frosted wheat and Frank grassy brown. The music from Bret and Dennis’ Game Boy’s was jousting with the low murmur of the local National Public Radio station. Frankie was too young to know how to play his Game Gear, which idled on the title screen as he slobbered and gnawed at the corner of the machine.
      “Did you hear me? Mommy’s leaving. Doesn’t that make you sad?”
      She appealed to her youngest and favorite, Frankie.  An airplane rose off the ground with the clear, burning thrust of its jets and Frankie, captured by the noise, followed it’s ascent with his brown eyes, which were vacant with young life. He looked back at his mom with a calm lack of any discernible feeling, like his eyes were the two windows of an empty room bartering a transaction of light with a sky of plain blue. He pushed himself up in his car seat and looked down to the runway below, where planes taxied around the runway like the toys on his Micro Machines playset.
      A tear broke from Sheri’s eye as she misunderstood this as an attempt by Frank to climb out of his harness into her arms, a romantic effort to keep her from going.
      “Oh, Frankie doesn’t want mama to go, does he?” She emphasized the youngest’s name to the two older brothers to make them want to join the effort to keep her from going. They remained intent on their games. As they got older and peer pressure took over, Mom, who once barely had to convince them going to a pumpkin patch or to see the Zoo lights was a great way to spend a Saturday, had lost the power to convince them or sway them of anything. Frankie was just beginning to understand the sound of his own name, that it was some kind of retrieval device the world had to pull him in and involve him with it. He turned his head to look at his mom with a look just barely inquisitive, as if to say, “Who? What? It’s you again. Who are you?”
      “Momma’s gonna get on a jet plane and go away to Colorado or Utah and she might never come back. Wouldn’t that make you sad? You never ever would see her again and you’d have to live with your mean old dad. Would you like that?”
      Dennis, squashed between the carseat and the generous swath of shoulder room he surrendered to Bret in the middle on the hump, began to cry, stopping up his tears so Bret wouldn’t know. Dennis could not fool Bret, whose small childhood dominion lay mostly in the tyrannical control he had over Dennis’ emotional state. He noticed the pixellated hero, normally running and jumping and swinging chain-whip, at rest in the middle of Dennis’ electronic screen.
      “She won’t do it,” Bret whispered, “Play your Gameboy.”    
      Dennis was on the verge.
      “You want to live with your father, Dennie?” she said. “I’d probably be a lot happier by myself out in the desert.”
      Dennis began to whimper. Bret put the sharp angle of his elbow into his ribs.
      “Goshdamnit, Dennis,” Bret said. He shut his Gameboy off and ripped out the cartridge, offering it to Dennis. “Here, you wanna play Zelda? I’m done with it for now. Why don’t you trade me.”
      The tears cleared up remarkably fast. Dennis flipped his game off and switched it out for Zelda. Bret picekd up the old Dragon Warrior III cartridge from the floor where Dennis had let it fall next to petrified french fry nubs and Happy Meal toys that had fallen out of favor.
      “Daddy’s trying to get a new mommy for you. Do you think that’s fair?” Sheri was trying to wrangle the attention of her boys. In a way, she liked not having a daughter, and although she’d never been a tomboy, she was always outdoorsy, preferring canoeing or hiking to trips to the mall.  She liked driving a tough car, the grey wagon with 4 wheel drive, and she liked wearing flannel and Indian headbands more than skirts and heels.
      “Gosh, Mom, if you’re gonna go just get it over with instead of keeping blabbing about it,” Bret said.  Bret was taking on the quality and shape of Steve in ways that were both disconcerting and pride-inducing. Steve was strong, and it was good that her boy was too, but with that strength came a kind of obstinate will and pugnaciousness, which with Steve she could trump either by drawing him in with her sexual wiles or forcing him away with her battiness. Bret had grown impervious to her Motherly charms and had a remarkable stamina when it came to her dramatic stunts.
      “If I go how will you get home?” She shot this sentence out like a taunt. He demanded that she be more like a little sister to him than a mother.
      “I’ll drive us,” Bret said. “You can do it. It can’t be that freakin’ hard.”
      “Oh yeah, your feet won’t reach the pedals.”
      “Dennis’ll work the pedals.”
      “That won’t work.”
      “Every time I kick him on the left, he’ll brake. On the right, the gas.”
      “You’re not doing that to your brother.”
      They sat. A plane took off with a cool whooshing sound. Dennis thumbed his Gameboy, placated by Zelda. Frankie sucked a juicebox that had been empty for at least 15 minutes. A tantalizing bead of flavor would rise every once in a while, the sweet little taste of which kept him going.
      “Fine, I’m leaving,” she popped her door open. “Goodbye.”
      Frank’s face abstained from any thought or feeling whatsoever as he watched his Mom get out of the car and head towards the door of the terminal. Bret did not look up, intent on keeping his eyes down on the screen as an example to Dennis, who was trying to sneak looks sideways without raising his head and so alerting Bret.
      “She’s not going anywhere,” Bret said. “Dad put a limit on her credit card.”
      Through the glass they could hear their Mom saying something at a stagey volume, supposedly to herself, about how she was leaving and not coming back.
      “Stupid idiot didn’t even crack a window,” Bret leaned forward over the front seat, squeezing a whelp out of Dennis as he used him for leverage to balance himself on the fulcrum of the leather chairback. He turned the key in the ignition one notch and the radio came back on. “I’m sick of this liberal bullshit,” he said, switching the station over to classic rock. Dennis squealed as Bret planted a foot in his crotch to provide stability while he lowered the rear windows to their child safety limit. Frank raised himself out of his seat as if to climb out after the planes. “No. Come on,” Bret said, patting the restraining bar of his baby seat. “Sit down, buddy.”
      Bret stole a quick look away from his video game to check on his Mom. She was having a conversation with an elderly black baggage handler at the Northwest Airlines check-in desk. She put a hand to the bandanna tied around her forehead as if she were distressed or exhausted. She was probably telling him some bullshit about what an asshole her husband was or how she was moving to the desert.
      Bret could sense Dennis falling for her bluff. Something in his posture. He could feel it wobbling, about to fall. Almost at the instant the tears blurted from Dennis’ eyes, Bret paused his Gameboy.
      “Shut the fuck up, Dennis or I’ll beat the shit out of you,” he said, raising a fist.
      Link had been dead for at least since Bret went to crack the windows and was lying in a spotlight on the afterlife limbo screen that asked if the player wanted to “CONTINUE” or “END”. He didn’t seem to care one way or the other what Link’s fate would be and instead was fighting past his brother’s threatening fist to watch as Sheri said goodbye to the baggage handler and went through the glass doors into the terminal. His wail cued up like a siren and Bret pumped his fist into his shoulder three times to squelch it out. This only served to kick it up a register, into that invisible high-pitched range that little brother’s are so familiar with where pain seems to give pause to the sound, the face contorts in agony, eyes clench hard together, mouth a yawping cavern with mismanaged gatework of teeth, a brief interim of silence the halted preamble before the new, more severe howl rushes out like a migration of bats. It becomes a cycle: quick intake of shallow breath, another howl, rapid ebb and flow of emergency sounding from his mouth. Bret beat at it to drive it back inside, but soon Frank had joined in chorus with Dennis, not knowing the purpose for the crying, simply wanting to be a part of its sour cheer. Bret had lost control of his constituency and Sheri took notice of this from inside the terminal. 
       Soon she was popping open Frank’s door and unstrapping him from the baby-seat. She bobbed him in her arms and kissed the soft unhealed opening at the top of his scalp. Dennis, trapped in between the seat and his brother, began to cry harder, his panicked state rising in intensity. He tried to sidle past the cumbersome gray carseat, but could not, and reversed course, thrashing at Bret to climb over him. Bret had not recognized this furor in his brother before. He was driven out of the backseat and out into the parking lot. He stood by as Bret ran up and hugged his Mom’s legs. Sheri whispered to the two boys something tender and threatening as they leaned against her, their tears subsiding, the three making a tableau against the melted sunset bent bleary and cataracted in the jet-fuel burning up above the runways. A large bronze plane set down with a few rubbery bumps and a long skid. Bret climbed back into the car, swiped the Zelda cartridge from Dennis’ Gameboy, put it back into his own and switched it on.

15 April 2014

Collaboration With Myself

-written using the website "what-would-i-say" which generates new phrases you might say based on your previous Facebook Status Updates 

What if I made me 
When I was pretty good
When I had no letters cause I hadn’t met myself yet 
Practicing for my future life
I was sufficiently dead I was born 
Flying into my childhood home, Karen Proctor
I am cause I was a big kiss
I was a remarkable thing I was the cheapest thing I was a discount
just boring enough
so poor I confuse my theres
This is an audition
Hopefully I'm an adult I wear a cowboy hat
what if I can't help but remind me of myself 
I love impersonations of my previous work
Goat Gland Specialist         Academy Award winning screenwriter of the day 
dynamic czar of the chimes            Unintelligible at any speed
Dude we should’ve gotten the Nobel Prize in boredom, hard work, or some shit. 


Janetta, I noticed the broken melody was You
I understand you 
Camera dreams come true
I always have periods too
Steve I'm a human being, including the same exact thing 
He's so sad he can't remember what happens in Chekhov's plays
I understand you
Most people do with anything
Most people don't have lives, they wear blankets because their body temperature lowers 
Facebook and incoherent imagery, a bunch of tribute people
An iPhone doesn't mean you 
Sarcophagus noun meaning doglike

Learn from a professional kid
That was the future life
I was upon the earth.
I’m just not working. 
I not me
I'll be at the miracle of all reality
A proud member of the people
 
I'll be starting a fear of contact find me